lim·it; noun; a point or level beyond which
something does not or may not extend or pass.
i have hard limits.
No urophilia or coprophilia. No
medical play. No blood, needles, or
knives. No feet (it’s a thing, i don’t
like people putting their feet on me or touching other people’s feet). No fisting.
No hoods. Fortunately, Master is
completely fine with my hard limits (well, i’m sure he’d love to make me
worship his feet or give him a foot massage as a punishment given my silly
phobia…i’m not stupid, that’s why it’s a hard limit.)
Then there are soft limits.
Things that i’m not comfortable with yet, or i am not comfortable being
surprised with. i know Master wants to
involve other people and while i will gladly be with another woman, i hesitate
at having to suck or fuck another man’s cock. Going to a sex club is one i’m trying to work
up to. It’s not the going; it’s the
participating. Public exhibition also
makes me very skittish. The risk of
being caught isn’t really a turn on for me, it’s more of an aversion, and so
it’s something that I’ll have to work through in order to do something of the
things that He wants. Fuck machines and
some of the more extended and extreme bondage i need to work up too as well.
There’s probably a few more i haven’t even thought of
yet. i expect Master to test me and push
me until these aren’t soft limits anymore.
i want Him to. i think i need to
get used to TTWD in practice first. When
we were going over them, i felt bad that i had these limits. i don’t want to hold back, deny Him any
pleasure or fantasy that He desires. i
want to completely trust in Him and just let go and allow Him to lead me.
Baby steps.
One, a rather simple one, is posting pictures of
myself. i worry about what would happen
if someone found them. Not that i’m
ashamed of TTWD. Just that i feel like
our family and friends wouldn’t understand.
We don’t have too many kinky friends (something that must be
corrected). Master wants to be able to
show off my body. Since we first started
talking about this blog, before i even wrote my first post, i balked at posting
pictures. i asked for time to figure out
how to do it in a way that i felt protected me and still gave Him what he
wanted. When i realized the other day,
how at peace i was with my submission, i also realized that i was ready to take
this first step.
A small one…(breathe)
