Our dynamic is a little odd right now with thousands of
miles separating us. It requires
creativity in my submission, service, and training. It also means that i spend quite a bit of
time fucking myself for His pleasure.
Masturbating is tiring.
There i said it. At
the end of the day, when i’m done with an entire day’s worth of
bullshit…yes…yes, i want more than anything to go relieve the tension and have
a mind-blowing orgasm. But it’s finding
the strength in my arms (i don’t get how men jack off several times a day) to
go at it for more than a few minutes without a vibrator.
My body hates me.
i was supposed to masturbate with as much of my hand in my
pussy as i could get (there’s a lesson in why yoga is important). Bring myself to orgasm three times. i was allowed to use the finger vibe for clit
stimulation only once i got close.
Two minutes in and my right hand starts to cramp. Stop and rub fingers. Damn
joints. Back to task. More cramping. Stop again.
This is going to be a great, sexy
video. Switch to left hand. Left hand cramps. Mother
Fuckin, God Damn joints. Try a
different angle. Eh, little better.
i then managed to hurt myself, slightly, but enough to have
to stop completely. (i did mention Murphy has come to visit for the holidays
right?). i can write about it with a
slight humorous edge, but truthfully…
It sucks.
i am learning not to beat myself up about it too much. No, it didn’t go as planned. But i didn’t fail. My attitude and desire to complete my task
was where it needed to be. i couldn’t
foresee the cramps or the injury. Master
wasn’t here to tell me to stop and i’m allowed to decide for myself. And He won’t fault me for not wanting to
cause further injury.
It does bother me not to complete a task. One because then i don’t get to orgasm (and
that might be my only one for the week)!
And two because then i’ve not done what He’s asked of me. Then i don’t feel “right” with Him until the
morning when i can talk to Him about it and He acknowledges that it’s ok or He
tells me what i can do to make it up to Him.
i’m blaming Murphy…i
know that fucker had something to do with this.
**Master reads all my posts before i post them. i meant to add that He did tell me this morning that He everything is ok and there is no need to make anything up to Him. And something about my Christmas presents and orgasms, lol.**
**Master reads all my posts before i post them. i meant to add that He did tell me this morning that He everything is ok and there is no need to make anything up to Him. And something about my Christmas presents and orgasms, lol.**