He's Home!

i am giddy like a school girl.   But just as nervous.  Biting my lower lip while i follow the 2-foot terrorist around the baggage area.  His plane is already on the ground and we are just waiting for Him to make His way down to the baggage area.

i grab the kid and divert him around in another direction.  He laughs and takes off.  My phone rings.  He's coming down.  The butterflies and nerves have not stopped all morning.  Eight months is a long fucking time to be apart.

i peer through the crowd headed my way for the baggage claim looking for my Master, my husband.  i scoop up our son and start talking about Daddy who he knows only from video and phone calls.  THERE HE IS!

My heart races, overwhelmed with love...with happiness...with desire.  We hug and kiss.  After so long, it's the simple things that mean the most.  Like being able to hold hands.  The toddler recognizes Daddy's voice but not his face.

Master has a colleague with Him so we hold back until after we drop him off.  Hands held in the car on the way home, leaning over to kiss passionately at each stop, leaning my head on His shoulder.  i missed Him so much.  i forgot how much (you get used to it after awhile) until He was there in front of me.

Being able to call Him "sir" and "Master" in person...seeing the smile on His face when i say it, these are the moments i waited for all these months.  It's only for 2 weeks, but we're going to make the most of it.

Emotions

Happiness is…

seeing Master’s face on video chat for the first time in about a month.

being able to talk about TTWD on video chat for the first time in about two months.  This involved me sitting topless for a couple hours in the bedroom trying not to laugh at the shit-eating grin on His face.  Not very Dommy.  But i loved every minute of it.

Nervousness is…

apparent and written all over my face.  i’m trying to find my center again after a rough couple of days.  The separation, nearing 6 months now, weighs heavily on me (and Him).  It affects all aspects of our lives, not just TTWD.  But i’m having difficultly keeping my stress from our regular life from bleeding into TTWD and fucking up my submission.  A major blowup earlier this week had Master instructing me to remove my training collar until i could earn it back.  It’s made me falter in my interactions and second-guess every word about to leave my mouth.  Is this what i am supposed to say?  Does He want my honest feelings?  Or what i’m supposed to feel if i was in the right place mentally?  Ugh.  (We talked this all out and i have a better handle on where i am and where i need to be.  And we discussed a couple of things that were bothering me.)

Excitement is…

knowing that tomorrow Master will be alone in a hotel room with wifi and video chat!  i can’t wait to be able to follow His commands and see Him…not follow words on a screen or an emailed set of instructions and make a video that He’ll see weeks later.

Disappointment is…

my body hating me so much that my period (“regulated” by the pill, ha) showed up a week early to fuck up this live video play opportunity.  Yes, we’ll have some fun, but not the fun that we’ve been anticipating and looking forward to for months.  Ugh.