i don't know about you...

but i could use a little lot of this!

Things that make you go hmm…

Sometimes i wonder what other people would think of our conversations.  i know our vanilla friends would fucking flip out at some of the things we talk about and some of the ideas that we have.

One of my tasks last week was to take topless pictures and send them to Master throughout the day while he was enjoying some much deserved down time.  i was to make sure that i posed with a few toys in some of them.  Later that evening, he was out in a bar drinking with some friends.  He started asking me how i would feel if He showed the pictures that i had sent Him to a friend He was drinking with.  Being the good little whore that i am, i reminded Him that my body was His.  If He wanted to show my pictures off, He could.  In my mind, i thought this was a test to see if i would respond the way He wanted me to.

Ha.

You’ve made ­­­­­­­­­­________ very hard, scarlet.

WTF? i didn’t really say that, that would have been disrespectful.  Though my actual response still got my sense of disbelief across.  And apparently had Master convinced that He’d gone too far and pissed me off.  It didn’t.  i just hadn’t expected that He was actually going to do it and i was hit with this overwhelming sense of embarrassment.  What i had sent Master was quickly taken cell phone photos and i hadn’t been wearing makeup and my hair was thrown up in a shabby ponytail/knot.  Seriously?  i look like a bum…ragged and overtired…mom….so not sexy.

And these were shots of my face too!  So far the only shared photos have been the ones on my blog and they have been carefully edited.  This was definitely a new achievement for me with a new boundary crossed. Still can’t believe He did that.

The other part of our conversation that evening involved the possibility of Master enjoying the company of a paid companion.  Lol, why does the hooker scene from Full Metal Jacket ALWAYS pop into my head?

i have odd views about sex, love, and marriage.  Some day i’ll get into them.  It would probably shock everybody that this was more my idea than His.  i feel that part of my role is to ensure that my Master’s needs are taken care of.  Right now, i can’t be there to do that.  i’ve assured Master that i am completely comfortable with Him being with someone else, even if i wasn’t there.  We’ve actually talked about it several times over the past few months.

So when He said that His friend had a connection and that it could actually happen…

i had that moment where my heart sped up for a second.  i had to stop and evaluate.  The last thing i wanted was to wake up the next morning crushed emotionally because i allowed something that i wasn’t really ok with.  But faced with a hypothetical becoming a probable…i still felt the same.  i told Master to enjoy himself.  Be safe...but enjoy getting His cocked sucked.

i was actually disappointed when He told me that the plans fell through.  i was looking forward to hearing about His experiences.  The whole idea of Him with another woman turns me on.

i'm still here

So i’m still here.

i have plenty to write about, just no time to sit down and get it out.  The most i’ve managed is to lurk on the blogs that i follow and manage a quick comment here and there.

Classes have started again…3 this term.  Pretty much the whole reason why i have no time.  TTWD has even had to be dialed back because my plate is just so full right now.  i just keep telling myself that it’s only 8 weeks.  i can do this for 8 weeks (7 now, i survived the 1^st week!).  Then 1 last term after that and i will be ready for graduation.  Whew!  What a long 3 years.

Like i said there has been a lot to write about and i’m hoping to find a few moments to get out my thoughts (preferably before i forget everything).  Master and i had a great “visit” last week.  The face-to-face time was exactly what i needed.

In the craziness of the past couple of weeks, i had completely forgotten about this photo that Master had asked me to post of me fucking my pussy with Dirk.  So you enjoy this photo while i’m trying to catch my breath and get caught up a little bit…maybe…hopefully…

Master's Property

Third Time's the Charm

            After finding the tattoo studio closed up early on Sunday, i rescheduled for Tuesday according to the piercer’s schedule i asked for.  Thankfully, i double-checked before i drove back down there.  No, she’s not working today, she’s working Thursday.  Did you know that Tuesday and Thursday are NOT the same days?  Thursday, being Halloween, wasn’t an option so i rescheduled (AGAIN!) for Friday.  Really, it should not be this hard to pierce holes in my body.

            Pain is relative to the person experiencing it.  Not of my other piercings have really hurt that much.  Frankly, i’ve enjoyed all of the experiences.  The thought of getting my nipples done did have me a little worried.  All this extra waiting wasn’t very helpful either.  Then for some reason, on the way down there, i convinced myself that it was going to hurt like hell. Not sure why.

Get there, do my paperwork, pay my money (struck by the odd thought that it cost less to do my nipples than my ears – Halloween special, but still).  As we walk back, i’m aware that there’s a guy getting some work done just outside of the room we’re in.  Fuck, now i’ve got to try not to scream so i don’t embarrass myself.   Lie down, pull my shirt up, bra too.  Just laying there, making small talk while my piercer gets ready.

She clamps my left nipple.

This is going to fucking hurt.

Breathe in.  One, two… i feel the needle go through.  i’m not into watching this process. 

Breathe out.  i look down.  Sure enough there’s a needle through my nipple. 

That’s it?  She laughs. 

Breathe in.  i feel the needle come out and the barbell go through. 

Done.   There’s a barbell through my nipple!  Why does it hurt more when the jewelry goes in?   We repeat the process with my right nipple.

As we were finishing up, i hear this…I think you’re the calmest person I’ve ever had back here.  She said the same thing when i was getting my ears done.  (i had messaged Master the entire time.)  i guess my pain tolerance is pretty high.  Scale of 1 to 10…this was only about a 3.  Clothespins hurt more.  i responded…

i’m kinda disappointed it didn’t hurt more. 

What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong.  With. Me?!    i get being happy that it didn’t hurt that much.  But disappointed?  There really something wrong with my thinking on this.  More and more, i think i’m finding that i like pain a little too much.  But that’s a post for another day.  In the meantime, i’m going to enjoy my new piercings as they are healing very well…a little tender when touched directly, but otherwise no pain.

            Master requested before and after pictures.  And He requested that they be included as part of this post, another step in pushing this limit, testing me, pushing me to confront my fears regarding posting images of my body online.  It made Him very happy to see the picture that i posted and He would like to see more, and more revealing.  i am not the only one who is getting test here though.  He is unsure of how He will feel when they are actually posted…this is a first for Him too.

So…scarlet’s nipples before…

And now…