Limit

lim·it; noun; a point or level beyond which something does not or may not extend or pass.

i have hard limits.  No urophilia or coprophilia.  No medical play.  No blood, needles, or knives.  No feet (it’s a thing, i don’t like people putting their feet on me or touching other people’s feet).  No fisting.  No hoods.  Fortunately, Master is completely fine with my hard limits (well, i’m sure he’d love to make me worship his feet or give him a foot massage as a punishment given my silly phobia…i’m not stupid, that’s why it’s a hard limit.)

Then there are soft limits.  Things that i’m not comfortable with yet, or i am not comfortable being surprised with.  i know Master wants to involve other people and while i will gladly be with another woman, i hesitate at having to suck or fuck another man’s cock.  Going to a sex club is one i’m trying to work up to.  It’s not the going; it’s the participating.  Public exhibition also makes me very skittish.  The risk of being caught isn’t really a turn on for me, it’s more of an aversion, and so it’s something that I’ll have to work through in order to do something of the things that He wants.  Fuck machines and some of the more extended and extreme bondage i need to work up too as well.

There’s probably a few more i haven’t even thought of yet.  i expect Master to test me and push me until these aren’t soft limits anymore.  i want Him to.  i think i need to get used to TTWD in practice first.  When we were going over them, i felt bad that i had these limits.  i don’t want to hold back, deny Him any pleasure or fantasy that He desires.  i want to completely trust in Him and just let go and allow Him to lead me.

Baby steps.

One, a rather simple one, is posting pictures of myself.  i worry about what would happen if someone found them.  Not that i’m ashamed of TTWD.  Just that i feel like our family and friends wouldn’t understand.  We don’t have too many kinky friends (something that must be corrected).  Master wants to be able to show off my body.  Since we first started talking about this blog, before i even wrote my first post, i balked at posting pictures.  i asked for time to figure out how to do it in a way that i felt protected me and still gave Him what he wanted.  When i realized the other day, how at peace i was with my submission, i also realized that i was ready to take this first step.

A small one…(breathe)