Mind Fuck

Snippet of our Facebook conversation yesterday...

… Then you gotta run to Wal-mart. Shame the weather isn’t better, I would have you go out with no bra.

Lol. It's warm, just very rainy Sir.

All the better... lol

It's Wal-Mart 2 days before Christmas Sir. You really want to amp up my stress that much?

No…

But it’s fun to fuck with your mind. J

Mean, it's mean Sir.

awww... poor scarlet.

That is literally the tip of the iceberg. you just wait till I get home.

Oh i know Sir.

No, but soon, you will.

  

Ha. Sometimes i feel like a toy for Him to play with…like a cat playing with a mouse.

Too cute…maybe not a cat…How about a lion?

Yep.  That’s better.  Not that i mind.  i rather enjoy being His play toy.

When things don’t go as planned

Our dynamic is a little odd right now with thousands of miles separating us.  It requires creativity in my submission, service, and training.  It also means that i spend quite a bit of time fucking myself for His pleasure.

Masturbating is tiring.

There i said it.  At the end of the day, when i’m done with an entire day’s worth of bullshit…yes…yes, i want more than anything to go relieve the tension and have a mind-blowing orgasm.  But it’s finding the strength in my arms (i don’t get how men jack off several times a day) to go at it for more than a few minutes without a vibrator.

My body hates me.

i was supposed to masturbate with as much of my hand in my pussy as i could get (there’s a lesson in why yoga is important).  Bring myself to orgasm three times.  i was allowed to use the finger vibe for clit stimulation only once i got close.

Two minutes in and my right hand starts to cramp.  Stop and rub fingers.  Damn joints.  Back to task.  More cramping.  Stop again.  This is going to be a great, sexy video.  Switch to left hand.  Left hand cramps.  Mother Fuckin, God Damn joints.  Try a different angle.  Eh, little better. 

i then managed to hurt myself, slightly, but enough to have to stop completely. (i did mention Murphy has come to visit for the holidays right?).  i can write about it with a slight humorous edge, but truthfully…

It sucks.

i am learning not to beat myself up about it too much.  No, it didn’t go as planned.  But i didn’t fail.  My attitude and desire to complete my task was where it needed to be.  i couldn’t foresee the cramps or the injury.  Master wasn’t here to tell me to stop and i’m allowed to decide for myself.  And He won’t fault me for not wanting to cause further injury.

It does bother me not to complete a task.  One because then i don’t get to orgasm (and that might be my only one for the week)!  And two because then i’ve not done what He’s asked of me.  Then i don’t feel “right” with Him until the morning when i can talk to Him about it and He acknowledges that it’s ok or He tells me what i can do to make it up to Him.

i’m blaming Murphy…i know that fucker had something to do with this.

**Master reads all my posts before i post them.  i meant to add that He did tell me this morning that He everything is ok and there is no need to make anything up to Him.  And something about my Christmas presents and orgasms, lol.**

A Cock Worshipping Quiz

This meme was orginally posted by Fondles on her blog and you can find many different responses from the various members of the Cock Worshipping Society.  i thought it would be fun to fill out with Master's input (in bold italics).

1. Does the cock you worship have a name? Would you like to give him one? 

-- No, but we do refer to worship as “going to church” (totally going to hell for this one). i might crack up in laughter if i had to refer to him by a pet name.  I might too.

2. What's the max number of times you've worshipped cock in a 24 hour period? 

-- 3.  for now. (with a wink)

3. How often does cock-worshipping take place?

-- Currently there is no cock-worshipping of an actual cock taking place as Master is away.  However, there is frequently cock-worship of a surrogate cock (read – dildo) as i stay in practice and work to improve my skills.  It varies, some weeks it’s daily, some times it’s once a week.

4. When worshipping cock, do you start with balls? [Yes / No and elaborate please.]

-- Depends.  Sometimes i start with His balls and then kiss up the bottom of the shaft to the head before i take him in my mouth.  Then other times i start with the head and take His balls in my hand.  

5. Do / Can you deep throat?

-- Not as well as i’d like to, but i’m practicing to get better.

6. Spit or swallow? (Yeah yeah, I had to right?)

-- Swallow.  Though there have been periods of time where i didn’t (i had reasons, some valid, some not…all gone now).

7. What do you focus on when worshipping cock? 

-- Unless He’s forcing his cock down my throat (in which case, i’m just focusing on being able to breathe, keeping my mouth open wide enough and my throat relaxed), i focus on running my tongue up the underside of His cock, feeling the ridges.  i’m focusing on the things that i know He enjoys most, sucking on just the head of His cock, pulling Him deep into my mouth. 

8. How long is a typical cock worshipping session for you?

-- As long as He wants it to be ;)

9. What is your favourite cock worshipping position?

-- i prefer Him to be on his back on the bed and me to be leaning over Him between His legs.  on her knees in front of me.

10. If you had to give up oral sex, which would you choose - never giving again, or never getting again?

 -- i would give up receiving.  i love sucking Master’s cock.  Good answer.